God's in Charge

It looked as if the students were nodding off with bobbing heads and heavy eyelids as I finished speaking my third segment at the retreat. Gathering up my teaching notes and Bible, concern overwhelmed my thinking; did I miss the mark of what I wanted to communicate? I studied and researched for hours and went over each presentation several times. Surely I didn’t flop, did I?

Twenty-four hours later I was still fretting over the possibility I didn’t hit the mark of what God called me to do. So at the gym, all alone in the sauna, I cried out to God, “Did I flop? Did I botch up what You were leading me to do? I tried hard, Lord, I tried hard! I so desired to connect with the students, where did I fail?”

Heartfelt prayer indeed, revealing a pious and selfless heart. Or so I thought; instead God gently stated that I was concerned about how I did, meaning I was emphasizing me in this pious cry. A question then came to my mind: Who’s the sovereign One in this dyad of me and God? Obviously, God is the sovereign One, I’m just thankful to be bumbling along in this thing called Life. Next I was reminded that God states in the book of Isaiah that His Word does not return void. Thus, I began to consider that answering the call of God to the best of my ability then allows the Holy Spirit to do the work He does best, working in people’s hearts. I did the best I knew to plant the seeds God inspired me to plant but it is God, through the working of the Holy Spirit that will cultivate the soil of the souls the seeds were planted in.

As I’m brooding over my perceived failure, God is celebrating that His saving grace was proclaimed to thirsting souls. What’s more, I was given the privilege to proclaim this grace, and now I get to watch how the Holy Spirit will run freely through the flowers growing in the fertile soil of their souls.

It’s definitely a great lesson to learn that the Sovereign God will accomplish His purposes, the real question is will I accept His invitation to participate. If I do, He enables me to meet that call, and even if I don’t actually do as well as I wanted, it may actually be how God wanted it done anyway; for who am I to think I know what’s best anyway.

Thinking this I recall how I changed gears several times in the retreat from what I had originally planned on doing to what I actually did. Further I realize the second day of the retreat was filled with very tired students since they had spent the night at the church playing fun games and feeding growing relationships deep into the morning hours; the average night’s rest per student was possibly four hours at the most. Another thing I learned is if I’m ever given the privilege to speak at another two-day retreat, I should think of what kind of sizzle to add to the second day to help the exhausted students maintain attention. There are all kinds of possibilities from skits, or DVDs, or music, or a number of other options I’m sure.

Something else worth mentioning is God is bigger than my strengths and bigger than my weaknesses. As I put forth the effort required to answer God’s call and do the research and study, do the presentation preparation and practice, then actually go and do what I’ve prepared with the best of my ability to do, then the God Zone is entered in which He is free to do His work. More simply stated, God is really free to go to work if I perform due diligence in preparation and execute with all the precision I can muster.

So the next time we ever find ourselves caught up in the “I” of our own storm of doubt, just remember God is bigger than all the “I’s” that have ever been or ever will be. Sovereignty is after all, Sovereign; and we, after all, are mere mortals, wisps of breath that have the continual invitation to know the Sovereign.